Victoria’s Secret Revealed

Men as Boobs

Victoria’s Secret has finally been revealed: its sole purpose is to turn men into boobs and promote lingerie as weapons of male mass destruction.  The history of the breast and its nourishment purpose has been subverted into an armament – weaponizing two adipose tissue deposits that were meant to store energy but instead steal energy from the rational mind, the male mind.   Men have been duped into divorcing wives, buying lavish gifts and disowning children all for the sake of two round depository of mammary glands.   And even women have been fooled into buying the fantasy of dressing up and enhancing human milk production units. 

While at the surface, it might seem that Victoria’s Secret is a liberation of female utilitarian underwear, or is it conversely a conspiracy of indulging male fantasies through objectifying women’s bodies. It is really a simple cover for women who are secretly running Victoria’s Secret to liquify men’s brains – boobs for boobs.  This would explain the “suicide” of the founder of Victoria’s Secret who was found in San Francisco under the Golden Gate Bridge.  The suspicious nature of his death would imply that the Secret caught up with the founder.

The real secret is that, without the Victoria’s Secret support, the breast can be a bit unruly, amorphous and not at all like Antonio Vargas pin-ups.