Boob Engineering

Gravity Brassiere

In structural design for buildings, the design of a structural column is analyzed on whether it is restrained by lateral support which means it can take more load without lateral deflection compared to an unrestrained column which is less stable.

The same can be applied to the engineering that goes into brassiere design, which probably receives more funding than some space exploration programs in terms of engineering attention to defying gravity.  Similar but less daunting to getting a 6.2 million pound rocket into space, supporting an average of 20 pounds total in a 34DD should not require such effort at face value.  But that does not explain all the fashion design effort that goes into bralets, under-wire bras, push-em-up bras, padded bras for all the various “payloads” that are out there from size A to DDD with all the variants of balconette, bandeau, contour, convertible, demi, full coverage, low back, minimizer, plunge, racerback, shelf, sports, stick-on, strapless and u-plunge. 

The take-away from this is that the engineering for gravity-defying breast support is very laudable and similar to containing the amorphous fuel housed in the rocket shell. Indeed the structure of the bra brings a rationalized form to the breast.  The backers of the free-the-nipple movement should be careful about what they wish for, as like liquid fuel, the breast may dissolve into a more amorphous, less attractive shape and lose its power for lift-off in appeal.  Those breast freedom backers should pay “attention to the mammary behind the curtain” in a paraphrase from the Wizard of the Oz.

A good under-wire brassiere represents the best in modern engineering for a restrained design as it is rooted in structural engineering. This also explains the success of Victoria’s Secret in making the ideal container and uplift for presenting a perfect, appealing breast orb, even above and beyond the benefits of an lalternate approach in the internal inorganic structure of a breast implant.