MAGA Bowl

Super Bowl Replacement Theory

preading the MAGA disease further into professional sports, the Super Bowl organizers have capitulated, and the Super Bowl has been renamed the MAGA Bowl to Make Football Great Again.  The annual championship game will now be given more of moral obligation for Americans, like a mandatory pilgrimage to Mecca and a different way of “taking a knee.”

There are some additional conditions that are required to make the Maga Bowl “the bigliest ever.”

Players will have to make the sign of the T before the game and in reversal of previous protests by taking a knee, players are now required to genuflect towards Mar-a-Lago.

African Americans and Latinos, native Hawaiians and basically any other similar ancestry will not be allowed to play in the game as “America is for Americans (aka white Americans) and quarterbacks are required to be blond and blue eyed.

The New England Patriots, based on their mascot choice, will obviously survive but all teams with Native American names will have to change, not because they discredit Native Americans, but that they actually make any reference to Native American or recognize their existence.  So no more Chiefs who will be forced to change their name to the Kansas City Steaks.  The Cleveland Browns are also under suspicion for a change.

The MAGA Christan Nationalist have waded in to the naming controversy in requesting one of the teams be named the Christians, and consequently the Detroit Lions will be a special competitor for whichever team is renamed the Christians.  They are not satisfied with just the New Orleans Saints being the main representatives of their beliefs.

The competing teams in the Maga Bowl will not have to bring their own cheerleaders as there will be official cheerleaders called the Maggots.   Half time shows will be appropriately staged that represent the spirit of the new main sports game of the USA with a special re-enactment of theatre piece called The Malignant Narcissists versus the Deplorables.